Children make the family.
It's not impossible that there are happy couples in the world who haven't necessarily gone through a previous ruin.
Nor is it impossible that there are couples who want to seem happy so as not to create ruins.
One thing, though, is certain: in these years, the family belongs to the children.
A real command, or rather I'd dare say a commando of children, has taken over the family.
There isn't a child today who isn't in charge: a child who, as soon as they're born, sets the family's rules, a child who even holds up a family's interests, or a child who keeps separated parents in conflict, and children who dictate rules.
The parent has been dethroned. The father has taken on the unnatural form of a son, the mother has become a capricious little girl in the hands of her daughter, a desperate little girlfriend in the hands of her son.
I'm not speaking as an outsider; let me say I graduated in this subject with full marks. I am a 3.0 father who is up to date only in being dethroned. I'm an imperfect father, not a good example (since I can't even be a full-time father); I've become just an interest of a caged affection.
The Degree Earned
People die of titles, but they die just the same if the title is earned in the field. There are graduates out on the street, and there's a street that has given work to people considered incapable and without qualifications, turning them into real graduates of life.
Couples of the twentieth century
Couples are now formed out of enthusiasm and end up no longer living the initial fairy tale. Scrolling through Instagram I see several videos of marriage proposals in the most unusual places. I admit they move me a lot and even make me shed a tear. At the end of the video, though, I always analyse the same thing through the same question I ask myself: I wonder how it ended up.
The start is always beautiful, but you see the horse over the long distance. Endurance rules, and victory goes to the one who crosses the finish line "well".
Couples start out wanting to live a fairy tale, but facing the thoughts and realities of a life together they end up on two completely different lifestyles.
Children become a reality: newborns who begin to keep their parents from going out because of a light wind, a cold felt only by the parents, ending with listening to children, older ones (I mean 7 or 8 years old), who don't want to go out because they have to watch cartoons on TV, draw, eat at fixed times, meet the little friend from across the landing.
A real management system that leads the by now unhinged and frazzled parents to no longer be "One" but two who take turns so as not to upset the children's emotional balance. The male (retired Alpha) manages his outings with his peers, just as the woman (still a spring primrose) does with her teen(over)ager friends.
The end of the family
The foundation of a family vanishes for lack of unity. Even though the marriage is celebrated in the best parishes and at Arabian Nights-style receptions, everything remains built on sand. The best architects know that a building built on sand is bound to collapse.
There are many flowers in nature that teach us that roots are more important than the stem holding up the flower. The deeper or wider the root, the more stable and balanced the rest is.
Like everyone who may have moved house, I too have experience of buildings on sand and on rock.
The first one fell. The second not even an earthquake can shake.
Forming a couple
To be parents you have to choose each other, talk, talk, talk, talk about your individual directions and understand whether a single track could be formed for the future direction.
Today, people go to bed, get out of bed and try to get to know each other, they notice that some things aren't right (but it's fine anyway, because the justification is: I love her), they argue, and to make peace they go back to bed.
I know I'm saying obvious things, but now try putting the same situation into a marriage. Add the boss of the 2000s family, the child, and tell me whether you can get the two "dethroned" ones to go to "bed" to make the same peace.
Couples of the 2000s cannot be born from sex, because they wouldn't be able to talk to each other afterwards. They should start again from talking to each other, to find the pleasure of being joined not by sex but by the very pleasure of being together. Sex would then become the same pleasure as a dish that is welcome, longed for and savoured.
Parents "who talk" have one word (together), one direction (together), one teaching (together), and the children one learning (together).
The meaning of a couple
All this just to write a lot? Of course not, but to give solid meaning to the fact that the couple today is fundamental for building a family. Before talking about family, we must talk about individuals who choose each other on the basis of certain things, choices for their future. Choices that are not about the enthusiasm of spending a few nice years together, but endless hours until death. A very strong promise, but in the end it's what you do when you get married. You promise each other eternal love until death do us part. That said, I want to appeal to men and women. I want to appeal, with this topic, to choosing each other rightly to stay together forever. To founding the relationship on concrete things, and to giving concrete things to the children who will come as well.
Today it is important for the family to be rebuilt in a regenerated source code (to stay on the 3.0 theme).
The family must return to being a foundation in the nations, so that life does not die out, relationships are mended and children can go back to being children and not little creatures already mature at 5 years old.
By choosing your future and your partner well, it can be done.
I don't intend to go on at length, but if you like you can reach me in any way to go deeper into the topic.
Inspired by the verse:
Mark 10:7-8
'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother {and be united to his wife}, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.'
Pearl of wisdom
Better to choose a NO before than to pay a lawyer after.