So many husbands, so many wives
Let me say first that what you're about to read comes from a mix of my experience as a wife, a mother and a daughter. They are ideas you can compare yourself with and reflect on, and perhaps also take comfort in knowing that what you're going through concerns everyone, not just you.
How many wives feel lonely?
How many husbands feel lonely?
I think a good 80% would raise their hand at this question.
A situation like this is faced with bitterness in the couple; people become grumpy and invisible barriers go up that leave a bitter taste in the mouth.
We become stingy in giving ourselves to our partner, because there is a law on this earth that says: "Give to those who give to you", but there is another law established in heaven for this earth , far higher and truer, which states: "Give, and it will be given to you!".
How do you want to react to the unease in your family? With indifference or by committing yourself to sowing love?...
Trivial things?
You, wife, did you stop to ask your husband how he feels today?
You, husband, did you come close to hug your wife?
You, Wife, how did you welcome him when he came home from work? And you, husband, did you stop looking at your phone when she wanted your attention while she was talking to you?
They seem like trivial gestures, but they are moments to be sought every day, because just as every good seed sown bears good fruit, so these "trivial things" help establish the right course for a loving atmosphere in the family.
Wife, husband, don't stop growing together; in agreement before God you chose to be one thing, so why do you now want to pair up with something else?
Do you perhaps want to run far away from each other?
Have you asked yourselves what your being together truly is, and what purpose it has beyond caring for the children?
And the children?
Children are born from the couple, they grow through the couple, but watch out!
Children must remain children, not become brothers, sisters or friends; over time this would put them in a position of "authority" at home. So instead of giggling when they start to impose themselves (from a young age), let's remember that historic saying: "a tree is straightened while it's young".
After a child is born the couple must go on being a couple; the roles of wife and husband must remain such. The wife takes on an additional role, that of mother, and the husband the role of father.
I have seen, and not only in films, situations where the wife is considered a mother not only by the children but also by the husband.
Or women who unconsciously give up the role of wife because they found their only purpose in the family in raising the children, or again women ready to give themselves body and soul to their work, neglecting both the role of mother and of wife precisely because they're worn out.
Don't misunderstand me: great job to the mother who looks after her children, and the same goes for those who look after them while also working.
I believe that seeking the right PRIORITIES can bring balance to what we are and what we do.
In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:6
The good from the rotten
Let's remember that our children have been given to us for a time; just as we grew up, they will grow up too, and they won't be under "our roof" forever. Let's use this time well to raise responsible, enterprising children, able to engage with others, able to dream their own dreams (not their parents'), able to overcome difficulties in the right way...
... Exactly! The right way, because as a famous proverb says: "like father, like son", and as we know, children don't listen, they take us as an example. So let's set a good example.
That's why we parents must examine ourselves on how and what we pass on to them. We know very well that no parent is perfect, but a parent going through a process of transformation, surely brought about by experience, will be able to give their child, often without too many words but by example, pearls of knowledge and wisdom.
Our greatest difficulty is to stop, understand where we are and where we're going, and from there TAKE A STAND BY RECOGNISING WHERE WE'RE GOING WRONG, HOW WE CAN DO BETTER, AND IF NEED BE START FROM ZERO AGAIN, BECAUSE THAT ZERO IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS BUT THE SIGN OF SOMEONE WHO CAN QUESTION THEMSELVES, WHO HAS DECIDED with COURAGE TO TURN EVERYTHING UPSIDE DOWN, recovering true success in married life and beyond.
He (God the Father) holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.
Proverbs 2:7-8